Wednesday, August 31, 2011
I am tired and weary - finding that place of rest in him!
Mom has had a rough couple day, while they where able to get control of her pain and symptoms she is battling anxiety and restlessness today, something that she has no control over happening. Her mind and body are fighting against her and this causes a very bad reaction. I feel restless today as well, I want to help her so much, in the physical I want to take away this battle for her. I keep crying out to God for her peace and comfort of her body, mind and spirit. It is a battle to watch your loved one suffer so much, it is so hard to truly give everyday to God and allow him to take control. especially when your body and mind are fighting against all notions that everything will be OK. In the natural everything is not OK, but it is getting into that spiritual place where you throw up your hands and give up everything to God. I am having a day because mom is having a day and I can't fix it in the natural - but days like today I also get stronger because I am forced to relay on God even more, I am forced to trust Him that he has everything under control, I am forced to give up and let God take control of my thoughts and actions. If I don't do this than I will fall apart on my own strength and Mom will fall apart on her own strength. This doesn't make things easy, it just brings peace and Grace and a better understanding, His understanding.